Valentine’s Day for the Uncoupled

Valentine’s Day is here again filled with promises of roses and chocolate, romance and tenderness.  But for many who have lost a loved one or find themselves single again later in life, the day can be a painful reminder of what’s missing.

I recently read a lovely story about a man who made arrangements to have his wife’s favorite flowers delivered to her on Valentine’s day, even after his death, for the rest of her life.  Perhaps not every husband can be expected to be that thoughtful but adult children can also bring a smile to their elderly parent’s face by stepping up and making a gesture to lighten the grief this day may bring.  Tradition becomes increasing comforting and reassuring in older age;  by sending Mom the flowers or candies you knew Dad would have bought her, rather that your personal preference, you are letting her know she is not forgotten.

That’s what all these special days really boil down to after all isn’t it?  No matter what age we are or at what stage of life, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day are all just opportunities to reach out and let each other know we are not alone, we are not forgotten.  The longer we live, the more important that connection becomes.

Even seniors with dementia can benefit from receiving a time-honored gift that may bring back long-forgotten happy memories.  Music has been found to reconnect dementia patients with distant memories; family could try researching the song playing during their loved-one’s first dance to spark a emotional connection with the past.

As our notion of what defines old age changes, it’s becoming more common for Cupid to strike even the very elderly in community living complexes.  A bit of snow on the roof may not mean the embers of love can’t be brought back to life again.  Happy Heart Day Everyone!