Stop furnishing that rut!

Some of the grumpiest and most unhappy people I know are those that have retired from jobs that saw them in control of things. Staff, financial resources, product development – something that made others see them as ‘the boss.’ Once retired, there is nobody to, well, boss around. No decisions that are time sensitive or important to a company’s timeline. This often leads to once powerful people feeling quite diminished which in turn can lead to feelings of uselessness, looking back at what was and imagining what might have been, perhaps depression to some extent and very often those closest to the retiree are made to suffer by becoming the ‘employee’ who can be told what to do and how.

All the more reason why planning for retirement is crucial. What are you going to do with the rest of your life? Are you going to move into that rut of feeling purposeless and furnish it with resentment and feelings of loss or are you going to take the proverbial bull by the horns and design your days so that you wake up with purpose?

Another group of people spend their time looking back at their lives and feeling that they didn’t make the choices that they might have, opportunities were missed, adventures were passed up or in some other way their lives weren’t led in a way that is imagined would have been more fulfilling.

Happiness is a choice.

Apart from any medical conditions, so is misery.

We all know people who have disengaged in their senior years. It’s like they’re waiting to die. They don’t have any spark left, they focus inappropriate amounts of time and energy on details that wouldn’t have bothered them during their working years, some try to control or manipulate those around them and end up feeling more powerless when it doesn’t work and they generally just aren’t the people they once were.

In some cases, those who know them best will say that their worst qualities have risen to the surface, driving family and friends away. Remember that if one partner chooses to disengage, the other partner may not have the strength or wherewithal to successfully challenge the behavior resulting in both partners suffering the consequences of choosing this lifestyle. Seniors who choose social isolation are at risk for a host of consequences including increased mortality, anxiety, alcoholism, abuse, coronary heart disease, depression and an increased risk of suicide among other things.

If you see yourself or someone you care about in this post, consider a complete medical checkup including medication review. Have a frank discussion with the primary care physician about what is really going on and ask for referral to further treatment options and community resources that might assist with the process of helping the individual choose more positive, life-affirming options.

Stop furnishing that rut!